Sunday, December 13, 2015

"I Love You and I Like You": Why the Opposites of Ben and Leslie Work

Ben and Leslie. Andy and April. Ann and...lots of people, but especially Chris. The show Parks and Recreation features a lot of comical relationships that seem larger than life. While the show is funny, and the relationships of the characters appear to be too ridiculous to be real at times, I dare you to tell me that the following video doesn't make you shed a few tears of joy for the beauty of a happy and successful relationship.
Ok. Hold on... Let me wipe away the tears... Ok now I can go on. 

It seems at times that Ben and Leslie's relationship could not be more perfect. At the same time, Ben and Leslie are different in so many ways. If you are unfamiliar with Ben Wyatt, he is an analytical, nerdy accountant who could bore you for hours comparing and contrasting Star Trek and Star Wars and describing the discrepancies between the Game of Thrones books and television series. 

Leslie Knope, however, is far from analytical. She is passionate about her work in city government, and acts upon her feelings and emotions. She is high energy, highly attached and committed to her friendships, and loves breakfast food more than anything.
Though this relationship starts rocky, with Ben trying to reduce Leslie's Parks and Rec. department for logical, financial reasons, they become close very quickly. The biggest reason why Leslie and Ben's relationship, both working and romantic, functions so well is probably due to complementarity. 

Dryer and Horowitz (1997) conducted a study in which participants interacted with a confederate and then rated their satisfaction in their interaction. Participants were screened first to determine whether they were dominant or submissive in their interpersonal interactions. The confederates then read a script about how they would deal with an interpersonal relationship, giving an either dominant or submissive response. This created four levels, with participants of both interpersonal personality types being randomly selected to hear one of the two answers to the prompt. Dryer and Horowitz (1997) found that people with dominant AND submissive personality types reported being more satisfied with an interaction with someone of the opposite personality type as them. 

Using this study as a model, Leslie clearly represents the more dominant partner in her tendency to micromanage all things within her work life and relationships, with Ben being the submissive partner. Thankfully complementarity allows for the old saying "opposites attract" to play out in a way that gives us one of the best television couples of all time. 
-Tyler Wright

Works Cited
Dryer, D.C. & Horowitz, L.M. (1997). When do opposites attract? Interpersonal complementarity versus similarity. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 72(3), 592-603.

Thursday, December 10, 2015

It Isn’t You, It’s My Attachment Style

Break up, make up, and repeat, a sometimes endless cycle found in many college relationships. However, here at Holy Cross, we pride ourselves in our ability to foster lifelong relationships. I even asked my roommate, who has been “wifed up” since the first few months of freshman year, to kindly enlighten me on the [rumored] percentage that a Holy Cross student will marry a fellow ‘Sader. It’s a whopping 60%. Despite how hopeful this statistic might make some feel, most relationships do not reach the finish line, or in this case, the altar in the St. Joseph Chapel. As it turns out, both the successfulness of relationships and the successfulness of a breakup can be predicted by the three attachment styles; secure, avoidant and anxious/ ambivalent.

Unfortunately, it is not one’s mere enrollment at Holy Cross that ensures he or she will hear wedding bells, rather the most prosperous relationships occur in securely attached individuals.  Think back to your infant years (because I actually expect you to remember them), if you think your primary caregiver provided you with a trusting, stable environment, then you are more likely to be a securely attached individual. Fast-forward to your college aged years, and now, as that same securely attached individual, you should be able to trust and see stability in your romantic relationships. While you are enduring your romantic relationship, those who have an anxious/ambivalent attachment style are jumping in and subsequently jumping out of relationships as they were anxious infants. Avoidant individuals typically sought and were denied intimacy as infants. Consequentially, most avoid relationships altogether.

A study by Madey and Jilek (2012) investigated the correlation of attachment styles and the ending of romantic relationships, particularly in college students. As my mom likes to remind me (after every break up), I must kiss a lot of frogs before I can find my prince, so I am particularly interested in what these social psychologists found. To measure people’s thoughts about their partners after breaking up, participants were first asked to fill out a questionnaire to determine their attachment styles. Then, participants rated their satisfaction with their ex-partner and how well they can relate to them. Madey and Jilek found that after the dissolution of the romantic relationship, secure attachment allowed for “less apprehension about seeing the ex-partner again, less blame assigned to the partner for breaking up, less likely to get back in the relationship, and readiness to start dating again” (202). It was found that participants who do not experience secure attachment, were more likely to get back together and to also blame their ex-partner for the breakup.

I am extremely fortunate to have had nurturing caregivers and experience the effects, especially where relationships are concerned, of a secured attachment style. Here on the Hill and for all college students alike, we are constantly breaking up and making up. And, as I am bracing myself to graduate this Spring, and leave good ol’ Holy Cross on the other side of the marriage statistic, I know that it is not a result of my attachment style. I will blame my “singlehood” on the ever-shrinking pool of quality guys on this campus.

Taylor Teulings 

Reference: 
Madey S, Jilek L.(2012). Attachment style and dissolution of romantic relationships: Breaking up is hard to do, or is it?. Individual Differences Research 202-210.  http://ezproxy.holycross.edu:2048/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=psyh&AN=2013-00688-004&site=ehost-live

Monday, December 7, 2015

Bye Bye Bystanders

By Anna Tanji

Pelican: (spotting a choking fellow pelican) Hey, hey, Nigel. Heh, would you look at that? Sun's barely up and already Gerald's had more than he can handle.
Nigel: Yeah. Reckon somebody oughta help the poor guy.
(All the pelicans murmur and nod but do nothing.)
Nigel: ...well, don't everybody fly off at once.
Finding Nemo

            The Bystander Effect turns out to be extremely present in everyday life, whether it is the homeless man being ignored in a crowded subway station or the teacher that cannot get his projector to work as the class sits and watches him struggle.  And while in the example from Finding Nemo it is amusing and comical that all of the other pelicans are fine with sitting tight while their peer chokes to death, other cases are not so light-hearted.  I became familiar with the phenomenon long before I enrolled in this class. 
            My high school had a program called “Transition” in which juniors and seniors led groups of freshman through different activities once a month to talk to them about their own experiences as freshmen, teach them about high school, and try to help make the transition into 9th grade easier.  One of the first activities we did when I was a freshman in Transition was read a story aloud about a woman named Kitty Genovese.  Kitty Genovese was stabbed while walking from her car to her apartment one night in Queens.  Although she screamed for help for 15 minutes and 37 witnesses were recorded, not one person in the neighborhood helped her until it was too late.  After reading and analyzing this story as a freshman, and then again as a junior Transition leader, and then again as a senior Transition leader, I was well aware of the implications of the bystander effect.
            However, in one experiment performed by Stephen M. Garcia, Kimberlee Weaver, John M. Darley, and Bryan T. Spence, it was found that the presence of implicit bystanders may, in some cases, increasing helping behavior.  The researchers manipulated the participants perceived level of public scrutiny, and found that when the participants felt they were under public scrutiny, their helping behavior (involvement in non-profit organizations) increased.  Therefore, when bystanders feel disregarded by other bystanders, their action is inhibited, and when bystanders feel scrutinized by other bystanders, their action is encouraged. 
            I experienced this one morning over the summer at the pool where I worked as a lifeguard for two summers.  I was on duty at 8:30am, before the pool was open to the public (there was only a swim meet going on).  I was not on stand, so I was in the guard room with the other guards.  The pool used for meets is on the upper deck, far from the guard room.  Usually if there is an emergency on the upper deck, the guard that is making the save blows his or her whistle, and then all of the guards on the surrounding stands blow their whistles to ensure that all of the guards in the guard room here and go sprinting up there to help.  However, because the pool was not officially open, when the guard on stand at the swim meet blew her whistle to go help the swimmer that dislocated his shoulder, no one else was around to make sure the other guards knew.  After about 30 seconds (a very long time for a situation like this), she blew her whistle again and we all heard so we ran up and sprung into action.  As the boy was unable to climb out of the pool, we back-boarded him and got him on land and began to make a sling for him.  While he was being back-boarded, I asked my manager if anyone had called 911 for an ambulance yet, and he responded with a blank stare.  Immediately, I sprinted to the manager’s office to get the phone and called 911.  I was furious at first that he had forgotten such an essential part of our staff’s action plan for any kind of emergency, but now I am aware of two reasons why this would have happened.  First, that particular manager is relatively knew and is the only manager on staff that did not start out as a lifeguard.  He never went through the lifeguarding training and had it drilled into his head to never assume that a bystander will call 911.  We must delegate a specific person to do it or do it ourselves.  Second, in such a situation, lifeguards feel public scrutiny and therefore feel pressure to act; their behavior is not inhibited, as the experiment explains.  The patrons of the pool look to the lifeguards to take action, and that is why I was more than ready to do so. 

            While I don’t plan on returning to the pool to work another summer as a lifeguard, I am thankful for the life lessons I have learned from the extensive training I received.  Clearly, it can carry over from my professional life to my social life.

Works Cited
Garcia, S. M., Weaver, K., Darley, J. M., & Spence, B. T. (2009). Dual effects of implicit bystanders:             Inhibiting vs. facilitating helping behavior. Journal Of Consumer Psychology, 19(2), 215-224.             doi:10.1016/j.jcps.2009.02.013

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Being Attractive Pays Off

At the very beginning of this year one photo went viral (I know surprise, surprise) winning the hearts of many American girls. Many were swept up in how attractive this man was that they did not really bother to look at the reason his picture was being taking. Jeremy Meeks was arrested for gun charges and the California police department posted his mugshot on Facebook when it went viral. He was sentenced in federal court with a two year bid. The most shocking part of this story is that if you Google Jeremy you will find headings about the hot mugshot guy, world’s most attractive crook, dreamy mcmugshot, and my personal favorite #prisonbae. There is not really any mention on how he was referred to as “one of the most violent criminals in the Stockton area” or really any concern for how serious his charges were (Dulac, "‘Hot mugshot guy’ Jeremy Meeks has been sentenced to 27 months in federal prison"). Yes many news reporters touched on the fact that he was going to prison and that he was a criminal but they were more concerned with his looks than anything. The Washington Post has an article about him titled “Hot mugshot guy Jeremy Meeks got some bad news in court today. (But there are photos!).” The article quickly mentions that his crime could get him up to ten years and a $250,000 but then goes right back to talking about the important stuff: how he got two Hollywood agents. The fact that he is a violent criminal just escapes everyones mind and they would rather discuss the more serious issues, like how he wants to model and act when he gets out of prison. The fact that he is attractive and can just get away with wrong doing is a common occurrence in our culture. In fact it just happened again last month.
Sarah Furay or “The Adorable Drug Kingpin” as she has been nicknamed was arrested last month for selling massive quantities of drugs. Police found 31.5 (yes I said 31.5) grams of cocaine, 126 grams of high grade marijuana, 29 ecstasy tablets, methamphetamine, and 60 doses of a drug similar to LSD. She was arrested and not only smiled (ridiculous, right?) in her mug shot but barely spent any time in jail and was released on a very low bail bond of $39,000. Black males face massive jail time for having much smaller amounts of drugs on their person so it is very interesting that she is caught with a significant amount of drugs and is already out on bail. If you were to go and read the comments on her articles people talk about how cute she is and how she reminds them of their own kids. Now I will admit some of her easier treatment by police is probably due to the fact that her father has been a DEA agent (ironic, I know) for the last twenty years. But nonetheless, many people think that she will barely face any charges and barely do any time because she is a young, white, pretty girl. The fact that she is pretty is a major point of emphasis when she is facing four felony charges just boggles my mind. We as a society put a major emphasis on being attractive.
A study by David Reynolds and Mark Sanders had one hundred and forty-four college students read a case about a negligent homicide. The defendant was described There was an ambiguous condition and an unambiguous condition. A 2 (strength of attractiveness) x 2 (attractiveness) x 2 (age) x2 (injury) design was used. The level of attractiveness was manipulated by altering descriptions of work history, marital status, and statements given by the defendant’s peers. Upon reading the case the students had to sentence him to prison ranging from one to twenty-five years and they also rated his attractiveness on a scale of one to nine. The results showed that in the ambiguous condition there was no significant difference in the mean sentence time but in the unambiguous condition there was a strong effect of attractiveness. Attractive defendants sentences were significantly smaller than unattractive defendants. Age also had a significant effect. In the ambiguous condition younger defendants had significantly longer sentences than older defendants. The social attractiveness of the defendant played a role in the length of their sentence. Since we tend to associate positive attributes with people who are more attractive it leads us to pass over their wrongdoings. This just goes to show that being attractive really does afford you special treatment in society.

Alliyah Veilleux


http://ezproxy.holycross.edu:2048/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=psyh&AN=1975-27410-001&site=ehost-live

Works Cited

New Twist in Arrest of TX Teen Dubbed 'The Adorable Drug Kingpin' (2015, December 4). Retrieved December 5, 2015, from http://insider.foxnews.com/2015/12/04/adorable-drug-kingpin-sarah-furay-daughter-dea-agent

Du lac, J. (2015, February 6). ‘Hot mugshot guy’ Jeremy Meeks has been sentenced to 27 months in federal prison. Retrieved December 5, 2015, from https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2015/02/06/hot-mugshot-guy-jeremy-meeks-has-been-sentenced-to-27-months-in-federal-prison/

Du lac, J. (2014, July 8). ‘Hot mugshot guy’ Jeremy Meeks got some bad news in court today. (But there are photos!). Retrieved December 5, 2015, from https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2014/07/08/hot-mugshot-guy-jeremy-meeks-got-some-bad-news-in-court-today-but-there-are-photos/

Reynolds, D. E., & Sanders, M. S. (1975). Effect of defendant attractiveness, age, and injury on severity of sentence given by simulated jurors. The Journal Of Social Psychology, 96(1), 149-150.

Saturday, December 5, 2015

The Promise and Pitfalls of Online Dating

Image result for online datingIf you were asked to raise your hand if you were on a dating site somewhere, whether it be tinder or more like match.com, chances are you would  raise your hand (or maybe not, but you’re still on it). Truth is: technology has completely changed the dating game. These social media staples allow you to meet individuals anywhere without the heart-fluttering, nerve-wracking decision to strike up a conversation in person, totally exposed. You are handed a freedom that puts you in control of your love-life with the touch of a button or swipe of a screen. But to be given a freedom means sacrifices must be made, sacrifices like possibly compromising your own safety by meeting someone you met from behind a screen.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that meeting your significant other online as opposed to in person is a bad thing. I met my boyfriend through Facebook the summer before my freshman year of college. We are perfectly happy, although I do get a little embarrassed when asked the “So how did you two meet?” question. Everyone hears the horror stories about that “creepy” guy your friend met on tinder or a “stalker” girl that won’t stop messaging you on Facebook. This phenomenon of people lying about who they are online even was given a term: cat-fishing. A TV show was even made out of it! That’s how often people do it and how often people fall for it. Every time I see Nev Schulman on the screen analyzing someone’s profile for inconsistencies, I think “Wow, that really could’ve been me.” To be honest, it can be any of us!

People take the anonymity of the World Wide Web as a way to reinvent themselves. They become someone they feel that they can’t be in person. It’s empowering knowing you can be the person you always wanted to be online and that the people you’re contacting have no clue that it isn’t the real you. Re-envisioning yourself isn’t new; most resumes aren’t complete without a little bit of embellishment. But as more and more people turn to social media to find their soulmates, it can become a problem, and dangerous. In truth, without meeting in person you can’t really know what you’re getting into and how much of a person’s profile is true. It’s a stigma that’s become attached to online dating: you can’t trust anyone to be who they say they are online and should act cautiously.

In an experiment done by Billie E. Cali, Jill M. Coleman, and Catherine Campbell, they wanted to see just how self-protective women would become as a result of the online dating stigma as opposed to meeting someone face-to-face. This was hypothesized to be greater for women who are new to online dating and lower for those who were veterans, but all of them would show self-protective behavior when meeting someone online. 83 women were selected for this study from a private Midwestern university. Participants were assigned to one of two conditions based on their birth month and were presented with scenarios about a hypothetical first date situations.

In one scenario, a situation was described where the participant met someone on Facebook with whom she was interested in going on a date. The second scenario described a situation in which the participant met someone whom she was interested in dating from one of her classes. From these scenarios, the women were asked to fill out a Dating Self-Protection Against Rape Scale(DSPARP). This scale asked them to report how many safety related behaviors they would partake in given their situation (i.e. letting a friend know where they were, meeting somewhere public). The DSPARP consists of 15 items on a Likert-type scale from 1 being "not at all important" to 6 being "very important," with higher scores indicating greater self-protection intent. Lastly, they were given a dating background questionnaire to acquire information about previous dating habits.

As predicted, women thought self-protective behaviors were more important when going on a date with someone they met on Facebook (or any online platform) as opposed to someone they had met at school. This effect was sound when dealing with college-aged and adult women, and was even stronger among individuals who had no prior experience dating someone they had met online.


With that being said, this increase in protective behavior does not mean online dating is more dangerous than meeting someone at a bar. This study simply implies that people, and specifically woman, are more cautious when meeting with someone they haven’t had an in-person interaction with previously. So continue onward on your dating app and don’t be afraid to meet up for drinks with that cute guy that just happened to message you. Chances are you’re unconsciously acting more self-protective than you would normally. Just know that you have your own back! I am living proof that you can meet someone online (Facebook) and end up having a very successful relationship.




Cali, Billie E., Jill M. Coleman, and Catherine Campbell. "Stranger Danger? Women’S Self-Protection Intent And The Continuing Stigma Of Online Dating."Cyberpsychology, Behavior, And Social Networking 16.12 (2013): 853-857. PsycINFO. Web. 5 Dec. 2015.


Rachel Sowinski